Welcome to Part 2 of our podcast with Dr. Neha Sangwan.
Dr. Neha Sangwan, CEO and founder of Intuitive Intelligence, is an internal medicine physician, international speaker and corporate communication expert. In her new book, TalkRx, Dr. Neha Sangwan reveals practical yet profound communication tools that will strengthen your relationships, reduce your stress, improve your health, and save you time! Dr. Neha Sangwan was a featured presenter at the 2015 Emerging Women Live Conference.
In today’s episode, Neha and I speak about:
Desire: being able to articulate and get to the core of what we desire
The importance of clarity and the positive expression of what we want
How to change conversations with people who are not clear with their desires and the skills to do it
Vocalizing what we value and acting in alignment with these values
Neha’s 2-Step Decision Making Tool
Rewriting History, the importance of being vulnerable and how “Truth is Always the Answer”
Here is Part 2 of my conversation “Talk Rx: A Prescription for Connection, Health and Happiness” with the honest and wonderful: Dr. Neha Sangwan.
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Chantal Pierrat: OK, welcome back, Neha!
Neha Sangwan: Oh, it’s so good to be here again.
CP: Now, you are visiting your parents right now. What state are you in?
NS: New York.
CP: You’re in New York, OK. Are you on Long Island?
NS: Oh no, I’m in Buffalo. I live right outside New York in Williamsburg, but my parents live in Buffalo. So the whole family’s out.
CP: So this is a perfect opportunity to practice a little TalkRx.
NS: [Laughs] Family is always the perfect opportunity to practice communication skills.
CP: And you have—you said it’s your parents’ wedding anniversary?
NS: Yes, their 50th.
CP: OK, all right. Now’s the time. [Laughs]
NS: That is so true.
CP: Well, in our first part 1, we talked about your five-step process, which I think you call the i-Five?
NS: Yes, the i-Five conversation.
CP: The i-Five conversation. Maybe we should just quickly summarize the five parts, just for the listeners that might be coming in for the first time, even on part 2. And then we can dig into the part 2 of our podcast.
NS: Sure. The whole premise of the i-Five is that it’s five steps to having not just conversations, but honest conversations. And I think that’s where people get a little stuck. So I’ve broken it down into five parts, and the first part is your body. Basically, how our senses help us pick up information from the external world while we are simultaneously getting information from our internal world, like our heart racing, [our] stomach turning, all of that stuff that also is giving us information. And sometimes those two things are not in sync, right? So I’m saying “yes” but my stomach’s dropping. So that’s the body section, which is, how do you take in data from the outside world and inside world and have it sync up, and when it doesn’t, what do you do?
That data takes us to the second part of the i-Five conversation, which is your thoughts. So if I am in room and I’m talking to you, and my eyes tell me that you just get up and leave in the middle of a conversation, that’s data that I would pick up. I’ll make up a thought about it. I’ll decide that it means you’re not feeling well. I’ll decide that it means you don’t like me. I’ll decide all sorts of things. So the second step is around the thoughts we make up once we’ve observed the data from our body.
And then, depending on which thought I believe—if I think that you’re not feeling well, it leads me to step three, which is an emotion. So if I think you’re not feeling well, I might feel an emotion of concern or worry for you, for your health, how you’re feeling. Now, if the thought I made up was that I don’t think you like me or thought that our conversation was very interesting,