I believe intimacy is the future for humanity.
When we think of intimacy, we so often think of sexual intimacy. But that’s just one small part of it. When we’re talking about intimacy, we’re not talking about sex. We’re talking about sensuality.
Yes, when we’re intimate with another person, it feels good. We’re in our bodies. We’re connecting with someone else. But how much better could that intimate connection be if we first create intimacy with ourselves and Spirit? What about our intuition and other senses that aren’t so physical or obvious?
So much of building intimacy is about building trust. Trust in ourselves and trust in others. This is an interdependent relationship, one that we can’t practice alone. Even when we are practicing intimacy with ourselves, there is a give-and-take involved.
And that’s not to say that the intimacy we practice with ourselves, the world, and Spirit is just to prep us for intimacy with another person, either.
Reconnecting with intimacy — and what it means to be intimate as a human and a woman — can ignite our intuition and allow us to fully step into our desires.
Intimacy With the Present Moment
When we start to work with intimacy, it’s easier to do so with the present moment. Especially since we can do this wherever/whenever we want to experience that intimacy. We can also use this practice to start building the trust muscle, especially those of us who struggle with trust.
As the saying goes, “There is only the present moment.” Because the past is just a memory, and the future is just a dream. (Actually, the future isn’t just a dream because we can be grounded in the future as much as we are in the past — but more on that later).
Yet, practicing intimacy in the present moment is “easier” because we can ground ourselves in the sensory experiences of our spaces.
Intimacy is using all of our physical senses.
When we are intimate with the present moment, we can inhale the woody scent of a nearby wood stove or fireplace, feel lulled by the relaxing slosh of the dishwasher, and even enjoy the feel of cold, smooth floorboards beneath our feet.
When was the last time you truly enjoyed the mundane sights, sounds, and smells of our surroundings?
When we are in that space and we understand what that means to us, we have a better understanding of how to connect to ourselves, others, and spirit in a way that is more potent than simply listing what we’re grateful for.
When we are intimate with the present moment, we’re living that gratitude.
Intimacy With Ourselves
Experiencing intimacy with our spaces is good practice for experiencing intimacy with ourselves.
Yes, we can use our five physical senses to get into our bodies and start the practice. But when we experience intimacy of self, something else starts to come through, too. A knowing.
But while knowing sounds as though it’s something deep and primal, it’s simply that we’re just able to trust ourselves and that trust enforces our decisions.
The patriarchy asks us to disconnect from our bodies, from ourselves. It forces us to be someone we’re not, to ignore our instincts. And it does that because when we’re disconnected from ourselves, we look outside ourselves for answers. We start to emulate others instead of just living from the truth of who we are.
But here’s the wild thing: studies show that when asked whether participants would rather choose to switch places with someone else or stay who they are, the majority of people choose to stay themselves.
We would rather be ourselves than someone else. So why are we trying to constantly emulate others?
Intimacy with ourselves allows us to pay closer attention to who we are, and we find hidden gems when we’re paying attention.
We also experience more intuition and self-awareness. This is an interdependent relationship with our highest selves, our highest wisdom. When we are practicing intimacy, we get the unshakeable power of taking action with confidence, we make better choices, and we take steps toward our desires.
Intimacy With Others
Once we have intimacy with ourselves and our surroundings, we can start inviting others into our intimacy party. We can be intimate with our partners, parents, children, friends, pets, co-workers, and just about anyone else we choose to.
When we have the confidence to be intimate with ourselves — to be more of ourselves — we can risk more and be more vulnerable with others. Because we know that what other people project upon us isn’t us. We don’t need to become hooked into someone else’s energy or reactions to who they think we are.
Intimacy isn’t just about being fully present or in our own bodies during the “good” times. We also need to be intimate with others during emotionally charged or traditionally difficult times, too.
The dominant culture asks us to disconnect from difficult emotions, to “power” through, and “just deal with it” so it can sell us the remedies to these issues.
What if we could experience intimacy with our aging parents? With death? What a gift that would be to be present and knowing and feeling while someone else passes from this world and into the next.
And if we can be intimate throughout that experience with our loved ones, we could find intimacy in our own mortality, too.
Intimacy With Spirit
Of course, all of this is connected to Spirit and what else is beyond the senses.
In many religions and spiritual practices, we’re taught that the body and sensuality are evil and that we’re supposed to transcend them.
But again, this disconnect from our bodies and our desires only isolates us more. And it certainly doesn’t get us any closer to Spirit, our guides or something greater than ourselves. Yes, giving in to every physical and worldly desire or whim doesn’t increase our intimacy. But neither does ignoring our physicalities and our wants and (let’s be honest) our needs.
Bringing all of this intimacy to Spirit makes the whole thing more tangible.
When we have intimacy with Spirit and our guides and the messages we’re receiving, we experience a full-sensory connection that reaches the marrow of our bones and the center of our hearts. Not only can we experience it through our five senses, but we can also almost taste the experience. We can feel it because we are the experience. We become it.
Intimacy With the World
When we experience intimacy at this level, we’re not just absorbing the energy of others. We start to create intimacy with the world — and what we want to express in it.
Our desires, wishes, dreams, and visions are all part of our world and how we want to Emerge into it — what we want to bring into this world. But are we really taking the time to fully step into these visions? Use your capacity for intimacy and imagination to create a sensory-loaded experience of your offering to the world. Get close to what you want and you will have more creative power than you ever thought possible.
When you think of your life and your participation and offering in the word, never take your eyes off your relationship with intimacy.
Instead of trying to look outside of yourself to inform how you should express yourself, you only need to look inward to do so. When you’re intimate with yourself and your surroundings, only then will you start to realize that what’s inside and what’s outside are one and the same.
