Freaking Out? Here’s 5 Ways Elizabeth Gilbert Deals with Fear

I recently interviewed Elizabeth Gilbert for our Emerging Women Podcast on the subject of Creativity and Fear (the focus of her newest book, Big Magic, due out in September). The fact that this wildly successful woman still struggles with fear gives me hope! The insights Liz shared in our conversation are not just for artists and writers. They can apply to any of us who are working on our passions, whether in business or at the writing desk.

Liz’s key to embracing fear: “It’s really about working with your fear and around your fear, without denying it and without attacking it.” But how? Check out these excerpts from my most recent podcast conversation with Liz: Creating Big Magic – Part 1. 

5 Ways Elizabeth Gilbert Deals with Fear:

1. Remember that fear has no toggle switch

“Fear is so old and so important that it’s not subtle,” Liz says. “It’s a toggle switch—it just goes on and off.” It lacks nuance, which is so important to creativity and authentic leadership. Its only function is survival.

But she respects fear. “It’s a viable and important human action,” she says. “But it also can get in your way when it comes to creativity, because creativity always asks you to enter into realms with uncertain outcome, and fear hates that. Fear always tries to shut that down.”

There are times and places where fear is very valuable. But when it comes to creativity, we need to put fear into perspective.

2. Start a conversation with Grandfather Fear

It starts with this wise advice Liz gives: “Without trying to get in a war with fear or pretend that it doesn’t exist or be ungrateful to it, we have to have a conversation with Grandfather Fear every time we begin a new creative project.”

Pretending that you have no fear is crazy. Hating fear is reactive, because we’re here as a human race because it helped us survive. It’s important to bring a healthy respect to the conversation, but have the conversation nonetheless.

How does Liz do it? She says to Grandfather Fear: “I know you’re scared because I’m going to expansively do something with an uncertain outcome, but we’re going to do it anyway.”

3. Bring Kid Sister Curiosity into the conversation

Liz talked at Emerging Women Live 2013 about how helpful it is to personify all the different emotions inside of her. In the podcast, she brought up the usefulness of that same technique when dealing with fear.

“I’ve got Grandpa Fear with the hand on the hand brake being like, ‘No one leaves this house!’ and ‘You kids get out of my yard!’ but I’ve also got the really reckless kid sister – Curiosity – who has no sense of consequence and wants to say “yes” to everything.”

Can you recognize those different parts within you? Now that you’ve said “hi” to Grandfather Fear, can you introduce him to Kid Sister Curiosity? Liz says that if you can, and you let them talk to each other, you can begin to approach wisdom.

4. Trust your Central Self to moderate

“Somewhere in me there’s a self who, if I’ve gotten enough sleep, if I am eating well, if I am in a relationship that’s nourishing, if I’m taking care of myself, and if I’m calm and still, can effectively moderate between all of these modalities,” Liz says.

You can tell Kid Sister Curiosity that you love her free-spirit, but to remember that someone has to pay the bills. And tell Grandfather Fear that you appreciate him looking out for you, “but you can put the shotgun down – those are just trick-or-treaters.”

She stresses the importance of recognizing the YOU that is in charge. And if you’re taking care of you, then you can trust yourself to hear all sides and move forward.

5. Keep doing the work

“Inspiration doesn’t owe you anything,” says Liz. Once you’ve found a balance between fear and creativity, you still have to do the work. She gets the good sleep she needs to start fresh. She sits down at 7am to write. She invites Inspiration to the table and then she gets to work.

“But it’s not like the Annunciation where suddenly an angel comes into the room,” she says. “It’s a drag, but I don’t sit there thinking, ‘Hey, you didn’t come to me! I asked you!’ I put the message out. They know I’m there. And I’ll just sludge through it.”

But the beautiful part? She says, “I’ve got one ear open, ready for the unexpected thing.”[inline]twitter-logo-ew[/inline]

She’s “ready for the sentence that I didn’t know I could write. Ready for something to change. Ready for something to grow.” And she’s teaching me to bring that open conversation to business, too.

Want more ways to deal with Fear? Get a free download of Power Practices Vol. 1 – Women Who Are Changing the World, and tune in to women’s leadership expert Tara Mohr’s “When You Don’t Feel Ready.”

Meet Karen May of Google: #EWlive14 Featured Speaker

Need an example of feminine leadership principles in action? Meet Karen May, Vice President of People Development at Google. Her job description is steeped in feminine values like connection, collaboration, and compassion:

“I work with leaders, teams, and companies to help them be their best. I provide one-on-one leadership coaching to help people learn and grow as leaders. I’m a thought partner through tough challenges. I facilitate teams and groups through strategic planning, problem-solving, and conflict situations. Additionally, I develop and deliver leadership development courses that are experiential and practical.”

Karen oversees a global team that supports more than 34,000 Googlers in more than 70 offices in over 40 countries.

Her team implements a broad range of developmental offerings, including executive coaching, new hire onboarding, leadership development, and peer-to-peer instruction for Googlers of all levels, regions, and tenure. That means Googlers lead classes for others Googlers on whatever they’re passionate about, including their extracurricular skills like kickboxing or meditation.

“It’s a remarkable thing to put someone in teaching mode,” May says. “In a way, you get to see the best of them.” And by providing learning experiences that meet not just their career needs but also their life interests, May creates an atmosphere where Googlers can bring their whole selves to work.

“It’s a remarkable thing to put someone in teaching mode. In a way, you get to see the best of them.”twitter

With more than 20 years of professional experience as an organizational psychologist and a leadership coach, Karen knows firsthand the importance of connection in a corporate setting. In a recent New York Times interview, she says, “Where I ended up helping people often was in relationships with others, and understanding the impact they have on the people around them, cultivating some empathy, learning to listen, learning to give other people the spotlight, learning to work collaboratively.” She adds, “It wasn’t usually from a lack of willingness to do those things, but they didn’t have a strong muscle.”

Watch Karen flex her listening muscle in this clip from her awesome conversation with spiritual teacher and author Eckhart Tolle at the 2014 Wisdom.2.0 Conference in San Francisco: