Tag: feminism

I’m Going to Mess Up… and That’s Not Going to Stop Me

by Chantal Pierrat

In the days following the Women’s March I have encountered blogs and literature expressing ways in which people have felt marginalized by the mission of the Women’s March. One image that struck me was one of a black woman, Angela Peoples, holding a sign that read, “Don’t forget White women voted for Trump.” Standing in the background of the photo are three white women in pink “pussy-hats” on their phones, smiling and posing for a selfie.

This photo is an explicit visual representation of a deep racial divide that is still very much present between women of color and white women, a distinction made unmistakably clear by the 2016 presidential election. More than 53% of white women voted for Donald, while approximately 94% of black women and 69% of latina women voted for Hillary.

There are cracks in America’s feminist movement. We are not as united as we believe.

My post’s purpose is not to examine why this drastic difference in voting occurred. Rather, I am here to address my own unanswered question:

Where is my place in all of this? Where is a white, cisgender, straight, middle class, able-bodied, privileged woman most helpful, or more importantly, least helpful or possibly even damaging for a movement whose main purpose is to achieve inclusive equality for all?

When I am uneducated about a topic, or fearful of looking ignorant when opening my mouth, my default is to read. This is a great tool. Yet it can also open the door for passivity and cowardice. By only reading, I give myself permission, in a way, to gain knowledge while remaining sheltered. I can read all about intersectional feminism, how to be a better activist, how to be a better ally, but if I don’t get out there and talk to someone about it, if I don’t get out there and do something about it, then what the heck is the point?

Here’s the truth about all of this: I am afraid. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing. I am afraid of insulting someone or coming off as callous. I am afraid of being called a racist. But guess what? My reluctance to take a stance and engage in the discourse surrounding the intersection of gender and race only perpetuates racism, my inherent racism as a white person (and if you’re white, yours as well). I benefit from systemic racism. I perpetuate racism in ways that are invisible to me. I allow it to continue living for the simple fact that I have the luxury of never having to think about it.

My hesitation to enter the conversation doesn’t keep me “safe” from being called ignorant or hurting someone’s feelings. No, it keeps me docile and reinforces my white privilege to not have to participate.

If you haven’t yet, I strongly encourage you to read Saroful’s How to survive in intersectional feminist spaces 101. The very first aspect the author addresses is how we will all be corrected at some point or another, and that is OK! And when you mess up, which we all will, guess what you say? “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’ll do better next time.” Wow. That was a little more straightforward than I thought it was going to be.

No one can know everything and no one expects me to know everything, but if I don’t ever mess up because I never open my mouth, then I will never learn. Saroful goes on to discuss a seriously helpful list of ways to be a good listener, an effective learner, and an impactful activist.

One of the key points I found helpful was:

“If it’s not about you, don’t make it about you. If it is about you, do better.” – Saroful

In my attempt to be an activist, I will eventually be confronted with a blanket statement about racism such as white women are racist. What I am coming to realize is that all white humans are inherently racist (see above), whether or not we are willing to admit it. But if we insist that these statements don’t apply to us personally (Saroful calls this “not me! I’m a good person!”) we hijack the conversation and erase the opportunity to discuss the real issue at hand. And by playing the part of the “innocent bystander,” educating myself, but not engaging with the issue, I am a detriment to progress. I am not speaking truth to power.

I have spent the last week reading and I decided it is time to move. I need to leave my safe place, the one inside my little head. In Saroful’s follow-up article, So you think you know a thing: feministing 201, she notes that in almost every circumstance, experience will outweigh education. Anything that has ever been written has invariably been lived by someone else. In other words, educate yourself with the voices of people from the relevant community. Widen your lens of perception.

The moral of my story is that I have to engage, to listen, to learn, to know I’ll mess up and to always realize that I have the capacity to do better; we all have that potential. I will mess up, I will fall down, and I will be hurt. The beauty of it is: I will grow. It is not a marginalized group’s responsibility to come to me asking for help, to “teach” me what I should know, or to coddle my feelings of white fragility. It is MY job to change and to work hard as hell in my discomfort. It is my job to figure out by asking how I can be a better ally, not by stating that I am one. It is the voices of marginalized communities that must be at the center of the conversation, not mine, or any white person’s for that matter. It is their voices that need to be lifted and magnified – again, not mine.

I now have somewhere to start. It is my job to ask where I can be helpful, not tell. It is my job to support the uplifting of POC’s voices, not my own voice. I feel optimistic about our potential, collectively, to be the change we wish to see in the world. And as Gandhi once said, this is a damn good place to start.

Note from Emerging Women: Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion Break is a tremendously helpful practice when we’re doing tough inner-work that is likely to bring up uncomfortable feelings. We made a handy pdf for you – take a look:


Re-Emerging My Activist Self: The Women’s March 2017

by Chantal Pierrat

I was a Women’s Studies major in College – and in my junior year I marched in Washington DC at The March for Women’s Lives organized by the National Organization for Women.

It was amazing to see over 500,000 women, men, and children marching in solidarity for the human rights and reproductive rights of women. It energized and inspired me, and shaped the work I do to this day.

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(Photo by Barbara Alper/Getty Images)

I was absolutely an activist in my 20’s. But my 30’s? Not so much. My focus turned toward my personal future as I reached toward the female American dream: a partner I loved, 1.5 kids, a house in a good neighborhood, and a career that was meaningful and earned a decent salary.

Four years ago I started saying to myself, “I used to be such an activist… what happened?” I think I eschewed the word because I linked it to anger. But in retrospect, I don’t remember feeling angry – I felt alive and vital. As Brené Brown puts it, I felt like I was in the arena.

Now in my 40’s (ok, late 40’s, but who’s counting?) I realize that no matter how much of the American dream I have, it is a short-lived fulfillment. How can I feel satisfied while so much of humanity struggles to get their most basic needs met, while our ecosystem deteriorates under our negligence and greed, and while women and girls around the world continue to be the target of heinous crimes?

The same goes for personal growth. I have spent the last two decades finding myself, healing old wounds, using awareness practices to out-create deep-seeded psychological patterning. I am a better person for it – thank GODDESS for therapy – and I feel that I could spend my life working on my own personal evolution (is there ever an end to it?).

But I want to go beyond me. It is my wish that every human being has the luxury of working towards their fullest self-expression in this lifetime, just like I do.

So I can’t stop at my life. I need to fight for the lives of everyone around me. I need to speak up for those whose voices cannot be heard. I need to use the inner and outer power that I have accumulated through my personal work to make the way for a more sustainable future for all.

And so this weekend, I will march again. And I do not march alone. I’ll be joining thousands of Coloradans at the Women’s March on Denver to show my commitment to social justice, human rights, and equality. If you’re in Denver, I hope you’ll join the Emerging Women group – we’re meeting at the downtown Sheraton at 8:30am.

This sister march to the Women’s March on Washington is our opportunity to send a message: we are connected, powerful, and will fiercely advocate for marginalized groups to ensure a compassionate and just world.

Not in the Denver area? Check and see if a city near you is hosting a march (at the time of this post there are over 600 scheduled). We will show up all over the nation, and our numbers will speak for themselves. We are half the population, and we will not be ignored. I can’t wait to connect with you, and re-connect with my young activist self. Now is the time, sisters. Let’s show ’em our strength!

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PS – In true Emerging Women Live fashion, we will finish the day with embodied feminine power, aka dance party, at the Colorado Blue Ball – A Ball for All. I hope you are able to do the same with the soul sisters who keep your fire bright!

What it Means to be a Wild and Free Woman

by Amy Beth Hacker

“All good things are wild and free.” – Henry David Thoreau

Healthy women have a playful spirit, are powerfully devoted to those they love, possess immense strength of character, and draw on a rich heritage of instinctual and intellectual wisdom handed down by generations of women before them. They are wild and free in the truest sense: unapologetically and entirely who they are at their deepest, most authentic core.

When we are not free, we are held back, closed off, and we feel overwhelmingly stuck. Our voice is silenced — by the outside world or, more often, by ourselves. We live in the black and white margins of life, unable to feel safe in the gray areas.

To be wild and free means to live from a place of your inherent worth and value. It means owning your imperfections as much as your strengths as worthy and valuable parts of yourself.

Here are some things that wild and free women have in common:

1. She is constantly in a state of transition. 

In order for us to evolve, to move forward, to live our best lives, we must accept that women are designed by nature to be cyclical beings.

Our hormonal cycles are cyclical. So are the ocean’s tides. They both reflect the cycles of the moon. We have cycles of seasons in nature, cultural holidays and traditions that are celebrated and observed in cycles as well.

As women, our bodies and minds are designed to create. We are designed with the ability to create new life. More than that, we are designed to express ourselves creatively, to value the journey of creation as much as or even more than the final product.

Conversely, women who are wild and free also know when something they have created has run its course and must now end. This can be a project, a relationship, or even a set of values that no longer work for them. Wild and free women don’t hang onto things because they are afraid of what will happen if they let go.  

They trust the cycles of life that dictate that new beginnings are impossible without endings and endings are the foundation upon which new beginnings are brought forth.

2. She doesn’t engage in relationships that don’t work or are meaningless to her. 

They are devoted to their partners, their children, and their tribe, but they know that their relationship with themselves, specifically with their intuition, is paramount above all.

Without a relationship with intuition, we become lost, susceptible to predatory influences, and disconnected from ourselves and those around us.

Our intuition may show up as a still, small voice inside us, a gut feeling, or a sense of knowing or guidance. If we listen, it tells us how to best show up in the relationships we are in. When those relationships are no longer serving our best interests, our instinct tells us when and how to step away.

Relationships can be our greatest source of growth or they can be our greatest cages. Women who are wild and free know that the choice is always theirs.

3. She honors who and what she is.

Women who are wild and free know that their worth comes from who they are, not what they do. She creates because creating is an expression of her authentic self, not because she is looking for the love or approval of others.

She is conscious of her strengths and weaknesses and uses this knowledge to her advantage. She is comfortable with the concept of “good enough.” She values her own dignity and sovereignty above all else because she knows they are what keep her connected and autonomous.  

While she doesn’t strive for perfection, she is always looking to grow herself: her knowledge, her abilities, her talents, her strength and vitality. She knows that growth involves work, and often also involves fear, and she is willing to be brave and flexible to reach her goals.

Being wild and free is the birthright of all women. When we are led by our intuition, we will always be on the right path to freedom.

Janet Mock joins Emerging Women Live 2016!

by Chantal Pierrat

Janet Mock - Photographer Aaron Tredwell

Fantastic news for the Emerging Women community:

We are ecstatic to announce that Janet Mock, New York Times bestselling author, advocate and media host, will be joining us at Emerging Women Live 2016 in San Francisco!

Janet is one of the most influential trans women and millennial leaders in media. TIME called her one of “12 new faces of black leadership” and one of  “the most influential people on the Internet” while Fast Company named her one of 2015’s “most creative people in business.”

When she released Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More in February 2014, feminist critic bell hooks called Janet’s memoir, “A life-map for transformation,” while Melissa Harris-Perry said “Janet does what only great writers of autobiography accomplish—she tells a story of the self, which turns out to be a reflection of all humanity.”

Following the release, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Janet for Super Soul Sunday. Watch one of our favorite video clips to get a sense of Janet’s openness, presence and wisdom:

Now, Janet finds herself on the other side of the story as a Contributing Editor for Marie Claire, a correspondent for Entertainment Tonight and the host of So POPular! — a weekly MSNBC digital series that aims to ensure that the culture that entertains us actually makes us think.

In the video below she describes how we can transform our “guilty pleasures” into access points to talk about larger and broader issues like politics, identity and community, making the show not only “so popular” but SO NECESSARY in this modern world.

We can’t wait to talk with Janet Mock at Emerging Women Live 2016, October 13-16th in San Francisco. Register now to save yourself at seat at this unforgettable event!

Rethinking Women’s Leadership: Reflections for Shifting Into A New Paradigm of We

by Chantal Pierrat

Women’s leadership is on the cusp of a quantum leap.

Female leaders everywhere are inching toward the unknown, leaning into the new, announcing their readiness to the future that attracts them. Our passion, commitment, intention, and will may very well collapse the probability of equality and manifest it into a reality some day in the near future.

Denied access to the centers of power for so long in our history, we have become experts on the margins. We are masters at networking, advocating, circling, co-creating, transforming culture—working for the marginalized in every field imaginable. Women leaders are at the forefront of change from the grassroots to governmental levels.

Not About Me, It’s We

In the 1970’s, when the second wave of feminism washed over this land and changed everything in its wake, the phrase “the personal is political” became a slogan as we discovered together how the culture had shaped and silenced us. There was a sense of  “It’s not just ME, it’s all of us,” and that fueled our interest, our outrage, and finally our courage to stand up and speak our truths.

Now, two generations later, young women are assimilating into every institution—corporate, civil, religious, creative—and speaking their truth to power,from power, and about power.

As evolutionary women leaders we are abandoning old tactics and strategies; we are transcending patriarchal, hierarchical models of leadership and creating circular spaces for the surfacing and sharing of collective wisdom. We are creating new vocabularies, replacing words like compete, control, power, motivation with collaborate, co-create, process and transformation.

It takes women only moments to find our commonness, and generally, in every women’s circle, it is always agreed upon that what we are seeking is what is best for the whole. From business women to nuns to non-profit leaders, an awareness of our interdependency underlies every question and answer. And we often believe that if there is a striving to be had, it is to be the best for the world, not the best in the world.

The Value of Questions

Philosopher and scholar Jacob Needleman suggests that the real art form of today is “group pondering.” This resonates as an idea with me, although its execution calls for deep creativity. How does one facilitate “group pondering?” How does a leader mine the wisdom of the group? How do we evolve ourselves into more subtle sowers of collective insight?

The best leaders are the ones with the best questions. The ones who are humble enough to not be the center of attention, but to center the group’s attention. The ones who can laser focus the desire of the group, the intention and will of the group, in order to unleash the group’s ability to create a reality it agrees upon.

After a few decades of facilitating groups for higher levels of leadership and creativity, I’ve come up with some questions that aim at authentic and imaginative truth-telling. Answering these questions will give people an opportunity to find common ground with others, acknowledge what they are passionate about, decide what they are committed to, and proclaim their next steps in the matter.

People pay therapists thousands of dollars for this, but a good leader can bring about these clarifications in a short time by simply asking the right questions and engaging in this kind of group pondering. Here are a few ideas for starters:

  1. What is one thing you know for sure based on your lived experience?
  2. In what ways have you shared that knowing?
  3. In what ways have you advocated on another’s behalf?
  4. What success have you had in this area?
  5. Have you ever felt silenced as a woman? If so, how?
  6. Do you feel an affinity with any marginalized groups? If so, what is your response?
  7. Do you know the difference between your original thoughts and your inherited beliefs?
  8. What inherited beliefs have you disinherited? (about your body? your religion? your sex?)
  9. How have you been changed by another woman’s story or creation?
  10. If someone funded a documentary that you could produce, what subject matter would you choose?
  11. If you had a superpower, what would it be? What would you do as a result?
  12. Where does the imbalance of feminine vs. masculine show up most for you?
  13. What is the impact of that?
  14. In what ways are you bringing more balance to our society?

Tips for Facilitating

If there are many tables in the room, a dividing of the questions and sharing is an excellent way to foster more collective pondering. Introverts often need more time to think about their answers, so it might be wise to list these questions on paper and give people five to ten minutes to reflect and answer. The work of the leader is to create a safe space for sharing, to be self-disclosing and answer a few of the questions from her own perspective before having the group do the assignment.

I read once that the Old English term for leadership comes from the phrase to go first. The greatest leaders are the ones ready to go first, to risk being vulnerable. They speak from their lives. They learn how to master their ordeals, process their tragedies and transform them into stories that hold truths both personal and universal.

If She Can, I Can—The Power of Story

Everything we know happened to us in a story. All the wisdom in our cells came from our trials, our tears, our commitment to keep going in the face of every obstacle. Great leaders tell those stories. They don’t just share what they know. They share how they learned it. That’s what we all hunger for. Those tales of transformation. Those stories that remind us, “If she can, I can.”

You can stop reading leadership books anytime now. Just open up the book of your own life. See what you’ve been up against. See what kept you going. See what you’ve achieved and where you’re headed now. See how connected you are to all the others. And tell those stories. Tell them right from your heart. Don’t be afraid of your tears. This is heart work, after all.

Jan Phillips
Jan Phillips—Emerging Women

Jan Phillips, is the co-founder and executive director of the Living Kindness Foundation, a co-sponsor of Emerging Women, and an artist and author. She’s written  No Ordinary Time, Finding the On-Ramp to Your Spiritual Path, The Art of Original Thinking-The Making of a Thought Leader, Divining the Body, and more. To learn more about her work, you can visit her website.

Juicy Bites: The Courage to Challenge Expectations

by Chantal Pierrat

“Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.” ~ Margaret Sanger

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~ Anais Nin

This week in Juicy Bites, we discover:

  • A woman challenges the pressure to start a family
  • The women Michelle Obama honored for their extraordinary courage
  • 10 ways we can lead with courage
  • How to challenge the way society describes successful women
  • A feminine approach to feminism
  • Bella Abzug, lifelong activist, leader and hero

At the end of this post, we encourage you to join us for a conversation. This week’s Juicy Bites question for you, dear emerging women, is:

1. Life Once Removed via Suzanne Heintz

Check out Suzanne Heintz’s answer to the annoying and limiting question “Why aren’t you married?” The Denver-based art director’s photos are truly worth a thousand words to challenge the outdated but frequently implied notion that a woman without a husband and kids is somehow suspect.

 

“Do we live our lives with a keen awareness of how it feels, or just how it looks?” – Suzanne Heintz

 

Continue Reading…

2. U.S. Honors Extraordinary International Women of Courage via Mashable

March 8th marked the 103rd anniversary of International Women’s Day. In celebration, Michelle Obama presented the 2014 Secretary of State’s International Women of Courage Award to 10 exceptional women, whose work and achievements, often in the face of personal risk, serve as an inspiration to women worldwide.

 

“While our circumstances may be different, in so many ways the solutions to our struggles are the same. So when we see these women raise their voices and move their feet and empower others to create change, we need to realize that each of us has that same power and that same obligation.” – Michelle Obama

 

Continue Reading …

3. Lead With Courage: 10 Lessons From Women At The Top On Closing The Gender Gap  via Forbes

Using specific examples from women she’s met in her own career path, Margie Warrell shares 10 inspirational insights on courageous feminine leadership, from “Don’t go it alone” to “Lift as you climb.”

 

“I firmly believe that only when we women born in the western world step up to the leadership plate, and refuse to cower in the face of fear or failure, can we hope to permanently close that gap and create a more equitable world for the millions of women who have none of the opportunity we so easily take for granted.”

 

Continue Reading…

4. How to Write About Female Politicians Without Being a Sexist Sh*thead via Jezebel

A few weeks ago, you emerging women started an awesome conversation about the power of words here. In the same spirit, with an added dose of humor, Lindy West challenges publications to be mindful of their language, and to dissolve the damaging double standards applied to news coverage of female politicians.

 

“Here, I made a template (just fill in the blanks and your article is done!): NEWS REPORT: [Female Politician] did [politics] today. [Describe politics.] THE END”

 

Continue Reading…

5. Ms. Opinionated: Am I a Bad Feminist if I Don’t Take a Stand on Every Issue? via bitchmagazine

In this advice column, Sydette Harry challenges the expectation that a feminist should have a decisive stand on every feminist issue. We appreciate this reminder to bring a feminine edge to feminism.

 

“Remember that you become a feminist to love people and support them and to challenge the systems that don’t. That’s the important thing: Not what someone call themselves, not whether they have all the correct opinions, but how they’re working to make a better life for women.”

 

Continue Reading…

6.  My MAKERS Hero: Bella Abzug via MAKERS

Suzanne Braun Levine, author and first editor of Ms. Magazine, tells Makers about her hero, Bella Abzug, “an activist and leader in every major social movement of her lifetime,” and a woman who truly, outspokenly, lived her truth every day.

 

“She didn’t knock lightly on the door. She didn’t even push it open or batter it down. She took it off the hinges forever. So that those of us who came after could walk through.” – Geraldine Ferraro

 

Continue Reading…

We are excited to start a conversation and learn more from YOU, dear emerging women. Please join in with a comment below:

Like what you’re hearing? Dive deeper with us this October at Emerging Women Live 2014. Register before July 31st to enjoy deep discounts.