Kelly McGonigal Archives - Emerging Women

The Best Valentine You Can Give, AND Receive

February 11, 2015 by Chantal Pierrat

Dear loved ones,

It’s the week of love here at our household. Making valentines, planning a date with my husband, figuring out the candy limit for the kiddos – we’re all about it. Sure, as a culture we seem to have made every holiday about consuming more, and I don’t need to stuff my body full of chocolate hearts to feel the love (although it helps!). But there is something beautiful about all of the messaging we’re inundated with this week. Be mine, love you, be true, you’re all I need.

Here is my challenge to you, emerging women: let’s put ourselves on the other end of all of these loving messages. It seems like a simple change in perspective, but I find this to be one of the hardest things to do. Buddhist author Tara Brach calls turning love inwards like this “radical self-compassion.” I love that expression, though I feel like it’s almost redundant, because in my experience self-compassion is the most radical action we can take in the world.

“Self-compassion is the most radical action we can take in the world.”

As I have felt my way through big challenges like motherhood, marriage, career and now entrepreneurship, I see that I can sometimes fall into the trap of trying to manage my difficult emotions by beating myself up. I think, “I will give myself the ass-kicking that I need to really get off the couch – for once – and make real change in my life.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but for me this approach sucks. What has worshipping your unworthiness done for you lately? Nada. I love this painfully obvious yet game-changing reminder from Tara: “Imperfection is not our personal problem – it is a natural part of existing.” Right?!

“Imperfection is not our personal problem – it is a natural part of existing.”

And according to the research Kelly McGonigal presents in her book The Willpower Instinct, self-compassion is the shortest route to making long-lasting change of any kind in your life. It’s the mother of all New Year’s resolutions! And so I made self-compassion my only goal for 2015 – and maybe the next decade.

Like anything transformational, self-compassion and self-love only come alive through practice. HERE is my simple approach to this powerful practice – culled from the amazing Self-Compassion authors I have mentioned in this post already. Check out these 4 Steps to Radical Self-Compassion, and let the self-love-a-thon begin this Valentine’s.

This goes deep, friends, and the mind’s instinct toward blame and shame is powerful. You have to hit these practices hard, and don’t let up. Get those hands on your heart 50 times a day if you need it. It will be the best valentine you have ever given, or received.

BIG Self-Love,

Chantal Pierrat

Founder, Emerging Women

4 Steps to Radical Self-Compassion

February 11, 2015 by Chantal Pierrat

Like anything transformational, self-compassion only comes alive through practice. Here is my simple approach to this powerful practice – culled from the amazing self-compassion authors Tara Brach, Kristin Neff and Kelly McGonigal, plus bits and pieces from a lot of EWLive speakers who know their self-compassion stuff.

Step 1: Do a body scan.

Take 5 minutes in the morning and evening to sit quietly, close your eyes and simply breathe. As I breathe, I notice my body and take inventory of places that feel contracted or even painful. And I just sit there, noticing and breathing until something miraculous happens – those places loosen up and I start to feel a tenderness toward myself.

Step 2: Feel the pain, feel the love.

Yes, this happens. Just like when you see a child skin her knee, and you instantly feel compassion toward her and want her to feel better. When we discover pain in our bodies and we simply recognize it, our human instinct for compassion sets in and BOOM – we start to send loving thoughts. If you want to kick it up a notch, physically and gently place your hand on the places of contraction in your body – it will feel… lovely.

Step 3: Hands on the heart.

This is Kristin Neff’s most powerful technique for instant relief if you are trapped in a cycle of worshipping your unworthiness. Put your hands on your heart – that’s it! Kristin’s version is more elaborate – but I am usually tight on time, and just this simple gesture can turn everything around in an instant.

Step 4: Recognize the change.

Perhaps the most important part of my practice is to witness, feel and record the outcomes from this practice. Recognizing the positive change that ensues when we are tender and forgiving with ourselves will reinforce the practice, and soon our impulse to worship our unworthiness will be replaced by an impulse of self-compassion. Rad.

Remember, the mind’s instinct to blame and shame is powerful, so you have to hit these practices hard one hard. I’m serious – hands on the heart 50 times a day if you need it. It will be the best valentine you have ever given, or received.

Share Your Self-Compassion Practices with the tribe in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you!

Juicy Bites: Wisdom from Presenters at Emerging Women Live 2013

September 23, 2013 by Chantal Pierrat

This week we learn:

Embracing vulnerability with Dr. Brené Brown
Making stress your friend with Kelly McGonigal
Emerging into being with Tami Simon, founder and CEO of Sounds True
Writing a novel no one expects — a profile on formidable Elizabeth Gilbert
Identify your leap and learn to play big with Tara Sophia Mohr

At the end of this post, we encourage you to join us for a conversation. This week’s Juicy Bites question for you, dear emerging women, is:

1. Brené Brown – Embracing Vulnerability – a free video teaching via Sounds True

Check out this video featuring Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. Dr. Brené Brown was also featured on Oprah’s Emmy award winning show — Super Soul Sunday. Brené is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). In Daring Greatly, Brené dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

Brené Brown – Embracing Vulnerability from Sounds True on Vimeo.

Dr. Brené Brown will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO.

2. Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend via Ted Talk

Kelly McGonigal, PhD, is a health psychologist and award-winning lecturer at Stanford University. A leading expert on the mind-body relationship, her work integrates the latest findings of psychology, neuroscience, and medicine with contemplative practices of mindfulness and compassion from the traditions of Buddhism and yoga. She is the author of The Willpower Instinct and Yoga for Pain Relief.

Kelly McGonigal will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO. She will share with us The Science of Change.

3. Tami Simon — Emerging into Being: Leading with Trust, Authenticity, and Presence via Grace & Fire Podcast

We are excited to share with you a new Grace & Fire podcast. This episode’s guest is the inspirational and accomplished: Tami Simon. Tami is the founder of Sounds True, a multimedia publishing company dedicated to disseminating spiritual wisdom.

In this episode, Tami Simon and the host, Chantal Pierrat spoke about:

Handling the everyday fear
“Everything depends on how much you trust”
Authenticity and its acceptance in society
Mentorship and the best way to mentor
The energy of tenacity and will and when to let go

Listen Here…

Tami Simon will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO.

4. Eat, Pray, Love, Get Rich, Write a Novel No One Expects via New York Times Magazine

This is a great read! A fantastic profile on Elizabeth Gilbert. Next month, Viking will publish Gilbert’s sixth book, a novel titled “The Signature of All Things.” It’s like unlike anything she has ever written in her 13 years career as a writer.

“Gilbert had withstood the narcissistic onslaught of fame, found stability in her personal life and laid claim to the biggest prize of all: the feeling that she had nothing to lose with her next project.” – Steve Almond

Elizabeth Gilbert will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO. She will share with us the “Big Magic: Thoughts on Creative Living”.

5. It’s Time to Leap by Tara Sophia Mohr

Tara Mohr is an expert on women’s leadership and well-being. Her work helps women play bigger in their work and in their lives. With an MBA from Stanford University and her undergraduate degree in English literature from Yale, Tara takes a unique approach that blends inner work with practical skills training, and weaves together both intellectual rigor and intuitive wisdom.
Take a moment to check out this fantastic video as Tara shares her wisdom and encourages women to play big.

Tara will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO. She will share with us “Playing Big: The Work of Our Time”.

We are excited to start a conversation and learn more from YOU, dear emerging women. Leave a comment below:

Emerging Women Live is for women entrepreneurs and creatives who share a vision to change the world by living the truth of who they are. These are women who are burning with desire to to fully express themselves through the work they do, while promoting a new paradigm of success that leverages the incredible power of the feminine: collaboration, community, intuition, receptivity, sensuality and heart. Join us!

10 Badass Quotes from 10 Badass Women

April 4, 2013 by Chantal Pierrat

What makes our Emerging Women Live speakers so unique? Their authenticity, vulnerability, and courage. These are women who are not afraid to be themselves as they take creative risks or launch BIG ideas into the world. These are women who believe in the whole story, not just the pretty faces and the happy endings. These women represent an excellent blend of grace and grit – a formula that seems to be emerging in women leaders in all areas of our society. We hope you enjoy this list of Badass Quotes. Just click on a name to hear more from each woman – and join us for the live event to experience the full breadth of what these luminaries have to offer!

Continue reading “10 Badass Quotes from 10 Badass Women” →