Tag: Kristin Neff

The Best Valentine You Can Give, AND Receive

by Chantal Pierrat

Dear loved ones,

It’s the week of love here at our household. Making valentines, planning a date with my husband, figuring out the candy limit for the kiddos – we’re all about it. Sure, as a culture we seem to have made every holiday about consuming more, and I don’t need to stuff my body full of chocolate hearts to feel the love (although it helps!). But there is something beautiful about all of the messaging we’re inundated with this week. Be mine, love you, be true, you’re all I need.

Here is my challenge to you, emerging women: let’s put ourselves on the other end of all of these loving messages. It seems like a simple change in perspective, but I find this to be one of the hardest things to do. Buddhist author Tara Brach calls turning love inwards like this “radical self-compassion.” I love that expression, though I feel like it’s almost redundant, because in my experience self-compassion is the most radical action we can take in the world.

“Self-compassion is the most radical action we can take in the world.”

As I have felt my way through big challenges like motherhood, marriage, career and now entrepreneurship, I see that I can sometimes fall into the trap of trying to manage my difficult emotions by beating myself up. I think, “I will give myself the ass-kicking that I need to really get off the couch – for once – and make real change in my life.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but for me this approach sucks. What has worshipping your unworthiness done for you lately? Nada. I love this painfully obvious yet game-changing reminder from Tara: “Imperfection is not our personal problem – it is a natural part of existing.” Right?!

“Imperfection is not our personal problem – it is a natural part of existing.”

And according to the research Kelly McGonigal presents in her book The Willpower Instinct, self-compassion is the shortest route to making long-lasting change of any kind in your life. It’s the mother of all New Year’s resolutions! And so I made self-compassion my only goal for 2015 – and maybe the next decade.

Like anything transformational, self-compassion and self-love only come alive through practice. HERE is my simple approach to this powerful practice – culled from the amazing Self-Compassion authors I have mentioned in this post already. Check out these 4 Steps to Radical Self-Compassion, and let the self-love-a-thon begin this Valentine’s.

This goes deep, friends, and the mind’s instinct toward blame and shame is powerful. You have to hit these practices hard, and don’t let up. Get those hands on your heart 50 times a day if you need it. It will be the best valentine you have ever given, or received.

BIG Self-Love,

Chantal Pierrat

Founder, Emerging Women

4 Steps to Radical Self-Compassion

by Chantal Pierrat

Like anything transformational, self-compassion only comes alive through practice. Here is my simple approach to this powerful practice – culled from the amazing self-compassion authors Tara Brach, Kristin Neff and Kelly McGonigal, plus bits and pieces from a lot of EWLive speakers who know their self-compassion stuff.

Step 1:  Do a body scan.

Take 5 minutes in the morning and evening to sit quietly, close your eyes and simply breathe. As I breathe, I notice my body and take inventory of places that feel contracted or even painful. And I just sit there, noticing and breathing until something miraculous happens – those places loosen up and I start to feel a tenderness toward myself.

Step 2: Feel the pain, feel the love.

Yes, this happens. Just like when you see a child skin her knee, and you instantly feel compassion toward her and want her to feel better. When we discover pain in our bodies and we simply recognize it, our human instinct for compassion sets in and BOOM – we start to send loving thoughts. If you want to kick it up a notch, physically and gently place your hand on the places of contraction in your body – it will feel… lovely.

Step 3: Hands on the heart.

This is Kristin Neff’s most powerful technique for instant relief if you are trapped in a cycle of worshipping your unworthiness. Put your hands on your heart – that’s it! Kristin’s version is more elaborate – but I am usually tight on time, and just this simple gesture can turn everything around in an instant.

Step 4: Recognize the change.

Perhaps the most important part of my practice is to witness, feel and record the outcomes from this practice. Recognizing the positive change that ensues when we are tender and forgiving with ourselves will reinforce the practice, and soon our impulse to worship our unworthiness will be replaced by an impulse of self-compassion. Rad.

Remember, the mind’s instinct to blame and shame is powerful, so you have to hit these practices hard one hard. I’m serious – hands on the heart 50 times a day if you need it. It will be the best valentine you have ever given, or received.

Share Your Self-Compassion Practices with the tribe in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you!

Power Practice #01: The Self-Compassion Break

by Chantal Pierrat

These guided audio practices are designed to support, inspire, and coach us through an integrated approach to success, creativity, and business.

Our goal is to provide useful, practical methods and tools that will help you in the process of emerging. We invite you to find the courage you need to take your work to the next level. Start creating a fully aligned life by celebrating your feminine powers.

In this first Power Practice, Kristin Neff teaches us the simple yet powerful “Self-Compassion Break.” In just 7 minutes, you’ll learn how to be kind to yourself in stressful, painful situations.

Play the Power Practice:

Kristin Neff, PhD, received her doctorate in Human Development from the University of California at Berkeley in 1997.  She is currently an Associate Professor of Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas at Austin. She is the world’s leading expert on self-compassion. In addition to authoring numerous academic articles on self-compassion, she has written a  book titled Self-Compassion, released by William Morrow in 2011.

“The Self-Compassion Break” is one of the most effective exercises that Kristen teaches in her Mindful Self-Compassion program. This practice is “very portable and can be be used in daily life whenever you encounter difficult moments,” says Kristin.

For more on self-compassion, how it differs from self-esteem, and how it can take us from recognition to action, tune in to our Emerging Women podcast “The Real Meaning of Self-Compassion” with Kristin Neff.

Juicy Bites: Women Heroines in Literature and Film

by Chantal Pierrat

This week we find out:

  • Literature’s most beloved women heroines
  • Who is the first female Saudi Arabian filmmaker
  • What are 3 communication mistakes that you can easily avoid
  • The real meaning of self-compassion and how it differs from self-esteem
  • Messy or tidy — which is better for creativity?

 

At the end of this post, we encourage you to join us for a conversation. This week’s Juicy Bites question for you, dear emerging women, is:

1. Well-Read Women: Gorgeous Watercolor Portraits of Literature’s Most Beloved Heroines via Brain Pickings

 

The New-York-based painter and fashion illustrator Samantha Hahn is celebrating women in fiction. This book is a fascinating collection of expressive watercolor depictions paired with a memorable quote, of such literary icons as Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, Holly Golightly, and Clarissa Dalloway.

JANE EYRE 'Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Brontë
JANE EYRE ‘Jane Eyre’ by Charlotte Brontë

Continue Reading…

2. Meet Haifaa Al Mansour, the first female Saudi Arabian filmmaker via Interview Magazine

 

This is quite impressive. Al Mansour’s first feature film called Wadjda, is the first movie to be filmed entirely in Saudi Arabia, and Al Mansour is the first female Saudi Arabian filmmaker.

“There are opportunities for women now, and you have to be able to stand up for yourself, for what you believe in. And the culture is opening up and there are pockets, windows for women. But a lot of women are shy to take them because the culture will not accept women working in a mixed environment; they don’t want women to travel alone and study abroad. It may compromise women getting married quickly. It is very much like America in the 1940s, but it is more [conservative]; women have to be completely covered.” — Haifaa Al Mansour

Continue Reading…

 

3. Three communication mistakes with big impact via Tara Sophia Mohr-Wise Living

 

Tara shares with us a super easy way we can play big this year. Learn how to avoid 3 common communication mistakes, and how to build your voice to be  strong, determined,  non-apologetic.

“Our words are our opportunity. That opportunity is bigger than ever before because women are more literate than ever before and have access to technology — from laptops to email — that amplify our communication.”

*Tara Sophia Mohr will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO.

Continue Reading…

 

4. Kristin Neff — The Real Meaning of Self-Compassion via Grace & Fire Podcast

 

This episode’s guest is the inspiring Kristin Neff. Kristin is a professor of human development and culture at the University of Texas, Austin, and she has practiced Buddhist Meditation since 1997. In addition to authoring numerous academic articles on self-compassion, she has written a new book titled “Self-Compassion,” released by William Morrow in 2011.

In this episode, Kristin Neff and the host of Grace & Fire, Chantal Pierrat spoke about:

 

  • The real meaning of Self-Compassion and how it differs from Self-Esteem,
  • The masculine and feminine aspects of mindfulness and self-compassion,
  • The researched results of self-compassion and what the findings mean for leaders, and women leaders in particular,
  • How self-compassion takes us from recognition, to action, and the power creating a practice of self care and love,
  • And finally, Kristen offers sage advice for those women on the precipice of their own emergence.

 

Kristin Neff will be a featured presenter at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO.

Listen here…

 

5. It’s Not ‘Mess.’ It’s Creativity. via New York Times

 

Olimpia Zagnoli
Olimpia Zagnoli

MESSY or tidy — which is better?

Historically, the evidence has favored the tidy spaces. But then the obvious question surfaces: “If messiness is so bad, why do so many people tolerate, and even embrace, it?”

Kathleen D. Vohs, from Carlson School of Management, University of Minnesota, with two of her colleagues, conducted an interesting experiment and came to the conclusion that physical order produces healthy choices, generosity, and conventionality, whereas disorder produces creativity.
Here are a few of their predictions that led to their experiment:

“Since tidiness has been associated with upholding societal standards, we predicted that just being around tidiness would elicit a desire for convention. We also predicted the opposite: that being around messiness would lead people away from convention, in favor of new directions.” — Kathleen D. Vohs

Continue Reading…

We are excited to start a conversation and learn more from YOU, dear emerging women. Leave a comment below:

Emerging Women Live is for women entrepreneurs and creatives who share a vision to change the world by living the truth of who they are. These are women who are burning with desire to to fully express themselves through the work they do, while promoting a new paradigm of success that leverages the incredible power of the feminine: collaboration, community, intuition, receptivity, sensuality and heart. Join us!

Juicy Bites This Week – Accepting The Truth of Who You Are

by Chantal Pierrat

This week we find out:

  • Fascinating research that points out the achievements and challenges women face in the workplace
  • Alanis Morissette’s advice for women who are on the precipice of their own Emergence
  • Women’s barriers to becoming leaders, and candidates for senior positions
  • The inspiration behind Emerging Women
  • How self-compassion can help us accept the truth of who we are

At the end of this post, we encourage you to join us for a conversation. This week’s Juicy Bites question for you, dear emerging women, is:

What allows you to accept the truth of who you are?

1. Women in the Workplace: A Research Roundup via Harvard Business Review

This article explores recent research by business, psychology, and sociology scholars that offers a window into women’s collective experiences in the workplace, bringing light to issues such as:

  • Work/Life Balance
  • Equal Pay
  • Leadership Qualities

Continue reading…

2. Alanis Morissette – Creative Intimacy and the Merging of Yin and Yang via Grace & Fire

Emerging Women is happy to announce the launch of our podcast series: Grace & Fire.

Our first podcast features the amazing powerhouse Alanis Morissette as she talks about:

  • Vulnerability
  • Strength with Femininity and balancing the Yin/Yang or Masculine and Feminine essence
  • The effect of success on the creative process
  • How anger can actually build intimacy in relationship
  • And finally, Alanis gives her one piece of advice for women who are on the precipice of their own Emergence.

Alanis is a keynote speaker at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO.

Listen to the podcast HERE

3. Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers via Harvard Business Review

We are seeing more and more companies make gender diversity a priority. Despite the good intentions of their employers, women still face hurdles to becoming leaders and candidates for senior positions.

“Becoming a leader involves much more than being put in a leadership role, acquiring new skills, and adapting one’s style to the requirements of that role. It involves a fundamental identity shift. Organizations inadvertently undermine this process when they advise women to proactively seek leadership roles without also addressing policies and practices that communicate a mismatch between how women are seen and the qualities and experiences people tend to associate with leaders.”

Continue Reading…

4. LeapCast Podcast Episode #3 – Chantal Pierrat via LeapCast

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Check out this podcast series from LeapCast – a catalytic community for passion-seeking women.

Tune in to learn what inspired Chantal to start Emerging Women Live, the fears that surfaced as she was launching, and how she pushed past them.

Listen to the podcast HERE

5. Embracing Our Common Humanity With Self-Compassion via Huff Post Healthy Living

Kristin Neff talks about the importance of self-compassion and being in touch with our common humanity, and how that allows us to be more understanding and less judgmental about our inadequacies, and more aligned with the truth of who we are. Recognizing that we are not alone in our suffering, and that failure and imperfection is inevitable we are able to be acceptant of ourselves and less intimidated by our mistakes.

“One of the most important elements of self-compassion is the recognition of our shared humanity. Compassion is, by definition, relational. Compassion literally means “to suffer with,” which implies a basic mutuality in the experience of suffering. The emotion of compassion springs from the recognition that the human experience is imperfect, that we are all fallible.”

Kristin Neff is a speaker at the 2013 Emerging Women Live Conference, October 10th-13th in Boulder, CO.

This week’s Juicy Bites question for you, dear emerging women is:

What allows you to accept the truth of who you are?

Let’s start a conversation. We would love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.

10 Badass Quotes from 10 Badass Women

by Chantal Pierrat

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What makes our Emerging Women Live speakers so unique?  Their authenticity, vulnerability, and courage. These are women who are not afraid to be themselves as they take creative risks or launch BIG ideas into the world. These are women who believe in the whole story, not just the pretty faces and the happy endings. These women represent an excellent blend of grace and grit – a formula that seems to be emerging in women leaders in all areas of our society. We hope you enjoy this list of Badass Quotes. Just click on a name to hear more from each woman – and join us for the live event to experience the full breadth of what these luminaries have to offer!

Continue reading “10 Badass Quotes from 10 Badass Women” →