Empowering our Girls in the Coming of Age

It was the dawn of a new chapter in the life of someone I love dearly, my oldest daughter Katherine. She was turning twelve years old and I knew deep within my being that I wanted to help ignite the next part of her journey as she transitioned from girl to young woman with beautiful lessons and ancient truths told from women around the world.

Echoing deep within me were the words of the African spiritual teacher Sobonfu Somé:

“A woman’s medicine is another woman.”

Since the beginning of time, we have symbolized various life passages for girls and boys with the markings of ceremony, celebration, ritual and community. I want these same gifts for Katherine in her own way. From the metaphoric Red Tent, to Quinceañeras and Sweet Sixteen parties, to spiritual and religious ceremonies, we all have our own native ways to honor various coming of age traditions.I wanted to recognize our traditions, yet I also wanted to sprinkle in something else…

I wanted Katherine to experience the broader context of her own becoming.I wanted her to see the next evolution of herself from trailblazing women role models who share their stories, their dreams and their invaluable lessons learned.I wanted to help inspire her own truth that is beginning to take shape within her.

Not too long after these inklings, I received a message from Emerging Women thatJane Goodall was going to be the keynote speaker at their upcoming conference in San Francisco.Stop, breathe, synchronicity.The Jane Goodall… the one that Katherine has admired from an early age with sweet book reports to boot?I quickly called my husband and within minutes we had our plan.

No, this would certainly not be the Red Tent.But it would be our own unique way to start the conversation. We would blend multiple traditions into our very own, and it would be rooted in the powerful wisdom of the words of Joseph Campbell:

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

I sat down and wrote Katherine’s twelfth birthday letter.While the strokes of the keys came from my fingers, they were equally infused with the love and mutual support of my husband who adores and cherishes the young woman in our daughter.

Dearest Katherine,

We want you to know that you have every tool that you will ever need inside of you.The heart is the seat of your soul.It is the strongest voice you will ever hear.Listen to its precious whispers and it will always guide you home to the truth about your next step on your path. 

We want you to know that in the peaks and valleys of life, the ups and downs, the ebb and the flow, that self-compassion and self-love will be your greatest friend. 

We want you to know that you are an extraordinary young woman and your light shines so bright in this world.We are humbled and grateful to share this path with you, and as your parents, we will always, always, always love, support and honor you as your own unique person.

When you were in the fourth grade, you did a report on Jane Goodall because she inspired a calling that was already brewing inside of you – a love for animals and a voice for those who do not have one. So, for your birthday, you and I are going to take a sojourn to San Francisco and you will get to see Jane Goodall LIVE.Our special birthday wish for you as you embark on this next chapter in your life, is that you always live a life inspired by what moves you the most.Touch this place inside and you will live a life of authenticity and deep human fulfillment. 

With incredible love, empowerment and inspiration for you,

Mom and Dad

What started as a seedling in my awareness manifested into a truly transformational weekend with my daughter.We laughed, we cried, we danced, we played, we talked, we ate amazing food, we rode the trolley and we paid a visit to the magnificent redwoods.Most significant of all, we shared the collective umbrella of connectedness among a group of women who care deeply about bringing who they are to the table to help change our world.

There is a powerful exchange in the mere presence of people like Dr. Goodall. In Katherine’s own words: “Her presence was incredible, I could feel it from 5 rows away.Seeing her in person brought a lot of real to the situation.She sparked something in me to keep doing what I am doing, thinking what I am thinking.I look at her and think; she is one of my people, she speaks my language, she understands.”
These moments help define who we are. I asked her to share what she would tell other parents about this particular phase of her life, and she offered that “this stage of development is most crucial besides babyhood, and it is great to be embraced by people who are making change and good in the world.These are the women that I want to fan girl over.”I couldn’t agree more!

“These are the women that I want to fan girl over.”

As parents we sprinkle the very soil of our families with our own nutrients, our own fertilization, and the traditions that resonate with us.As we do so, we watch our children rise from this ground into their own becoming.

On the eve of our last day together, I watched Katherine stroll down a path in a cathedral of redwoods with lightheartedness and gratitude.I could not help but to think of these amazing trees, their incredible roots and the community of this majestic redwood grove.I reflect to my own grove, the roots who supported me into my own becoming and now who support Katherine.

We are standing on the shoulders of our mothers, and our grandmothers and with much reverence, and my daughter is standing on mine.

Mother’s Day Mind Shift – #emergingnow

Dear Emerging Women,

On May Day – the 1st of May – I experienced three miracles in my life. Ready?

Image from Crossroads by Jenna Greene

Miracle #1 – I am on time for a school function.

It’s exactly 11am on May 1st, and I am miraculously on time for the Maypole Celebration at my sons’ school. I stand in an empty field by the maypole, simply looking around and feeling a teensy bit proud of myself for being the first to arrive. Nobody is there – just the orchestra tuning up. Far from worried, I’m smiling and happy – I love it when other people are late! I figure “Hey, this is a Waldorf School. Everything in it’s own time.” And man does it feel good to just….. wait.

Fifteen minutes later I am clutching my bag, hobble-running in heels to the opposite-side-of-campus courtyard where the assembly is actually located and well under way.

I burst through the audience with panic in my eyes and stress on my face, frantically searching the student body to find my eldest son’s class, convinced I’ve missed his performance. And in the single, solitary minute it takes for me to reach the courtyard, a billion thoughts bombard my brain:

“Slacker!! Where is your focus, your diligence? How could you just sit there for 15 minutes with NO curiosity of whether or not you are in the right place? Why didn’t you read a single one of the bazillion emails the school sent out about this? Your kids are growing up and you don’t even know what’s happening to them! You are the ONLY parent who got it wrong – what the hell? Look how beautiful and calm all of the other moms are – you’re a mess! This is going to be hard on the boys, they are going to be SO disappointed…”

Miracle #2:  I remembered.

After a short teacher’s skit on the story of Spring, we walked in procession (back) to the field with the maypole where I had been patiently “waiting” before. I was as distraught from the run as I was from the inner-bullying going on in my head.

And then I remembered my practice of self-compassion.

I remembered! I sent loving words of encouragement and tenderness to my inner world, directly to my heart, and just like that – boom. I jumped off the hamster wheel of guilt and self-criticism and into an ocean of love, acceptance and peace with myself.

Miracle #3:  I was tested, and I didn’t die.

“You were late,” said my eldest after the event. I had disappointed him – he’s very into punctuality (oh, the karma of it all). I know he feels safe when I am holding him in my consciousness. I know that being on time is a reflection of that.

I know these things and I am bracing myself as I put on my inner running shoes to get back on that hamster wheel of shame…

But I don’t. Somehow I find the strength to say simply, “I am sorry, baby – but I saw the whole thing and you were great!” And I continue to swim in the ocean and I continue to practice, in the moment, looking into my son’s eyes. And I survive.

He gives me a big hug, we laugh, and we are out on the other side. As I write this now, I think of these words, and send them to all mothers and daughters this Mother’s Day:

“Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me. ~ Alice Walker”

Big Love,

Chantal Pierrat

Founder, Emerging Women

 More from Emerging Women this week:

/a>

Power Practice #11: Manage Your Stress In Any Situation with Erin Olivo

ew-live-2015-slider

Early Bird Tickets available for EW Live 2015 in San Francisco!

Maypole Image from Crossroads by Jenna Greene

Happy Mother’s Day to the EW Tribe

Dear Friends,

I always imagined what it would be like to have a daughter: pretty clothes, soft, fluffy things, pink ballet slippers. I imagined sharing all my womanly secrets with her and creating the most superwoman human being that ever lived. But instead I was graced with two boys, and instead, the house shakes; thumping, banging, physical madness – boys. I embraced this reality wholeheartedly – I can’t imagine my life without these little guys – but not without some small regret that I would never be able to relish in the feminine with a daughter.

But recently, on the day that Maya Angelou confirmed that she would speak at Emerging Women Live, I witnessed my sons greet my husband by rushing to the door shouting “Daddy, Maya Angelou said yes for Emerging Women! She is going to speak!” I know they’re a little young to fully appreciate what an honor that is, but they do know she’s an amazing woman and that I revere her. It dawned on me that perhaps I am growing supermen human beings, filled with all of my womanly secrets – and perhaps this could be even more impactful.

I often have the urge to thank my mother-in-law for raising my husband to be an integrated, sensitive, compassionate, “tuned in” yet masculine man. Growing up, I was taught that vulnerability, emotions, and being too accommodating were weaknesses. While I am grateful for the linear, pro-active power that I leaned on my whole life to “make shit happen,” I never learned the true power of receptivity, intuition and empathy until recently.

We all have the capacity, whether we are parents or not, to be stewards of these powerful feminine energies, and it is our time, as mothers to the world, to grow a society that uses those strengths to create a balanced and brilliant future for all.


With love,

Chantal Pierrat
Founder, Emerging Women

“We all have the capacity, whether we are parents or not, to be stewards of these powerful feminine energies.”twitter

Want more Mother’s Day inspiration? Check out this post: Mothers who Rock the World.

EWlive14FinalBanner1200x444

Mothers Who Rock the World

Mothers not only physically create us, they shape our ideas of the potential and possibilities available to us as we grow into our true selves. From creator to protector, healer to warrior, different representations of motherhood in our lives can serve to empower all of us during periods of emergence.

One of our favorite commentaries on all of the characteristics, both beautiful and strange, that the mother archetype can hold is Isabella Rossellini’s wonderfully weird Sundance series Mammas. We hope that you may enjoy it, and the profiles of our favorite mothers below, with the women in your life this Mother’s Day.

1. Artist Moms

Mica Angela Hendricks has a wonderful take on what it means to be a mother, exemplified by her ongoing series of portrait collaborations with her 4 year old daughter. “In sharing my artwork and allowing our daughter to be an equal in our collaborations, I helped solidify her confidence, which is way more precious than any doodle I could have done,” says Hendricks. In this blog post, Hendricks confesses that it wasn’t easy to relinquish control over her art, but was forced to when her daughter cleverly trotted out some old mommy-wisdom: “We might have to take it away if you can’t share…” Read the whole story here.

“Those things you hold so dear cannot change and grow and expand unless you loosen your grip on them a little.” ~ Mica Angela Hendricks[inline]twitter

Other cool art moms: Annie Leibovitz, who made children a priority later in life after creating a wildly successful career as a photographer; Laurie Simmons, mother of Lena Dunham and inspiration for Dunham’s film Tiny Furniture.

2. Mothers to the Masses

What does a hell-raiser have in common with a saint? In the case of these two women, they both channelled the mother archetype, albeit two different aspects of it, in order to uplift those in need.

Mother Teresa’s seemingly bottomless well of kindness and service inspired many young people to dedicate their lives to helping others. Her work with the poor and needy earned her the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~ Mother Teresatwitter

While Mother Teresa calls to the caregiver in all of us with her lifetime of compassion and service, Mary Harris “Mother” Jones inspires the mother in each of us who can fight like a lioness to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Mother Jones was a 19th century labor leader who, rather than dwelling on her personal tragedies, worked tirelessly to organize for worker’s unions. She famously said, “I’m not a humanitarian, I’m a hell-raiser.” She remained an active protector for the working class well into her 90s. Her legacy is that of a mother’s stubbornness and tireless pursuit of what is right.

“Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.”~ Mother Jonestwitter

 3.  Moms in the ‘Biz

We love actress, writer, producer, bazillion time Emmy award winner and mother Tina Fey’s refreshing take on “having it all.” Her 2011 book Bossypants approaches the subject of her anxieties about working outside the home with humor and honesty. She and fellow comedian Amy Poehler regularly use their sharp wit to skewer the double standards for working parents, as seen in this fun round-up of quotes over at HuffPost Parents.

“You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible — oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.” ~ Tina Feytwitter

Other moms we love in showbusiness: Wanda Sykes, whose OWN special Herlarious puts female comics in the spotlight; Angelina Jolie who recently wrote a beautiful op-ed piece about her decision to have a mastectomy.

4. Activist Moms

Following the birth of her daughter, Christy Turlington Burns suffered postpartum hemorrhage. The complication was quickly dealt with by her midwife and OB, but not all women have access to the same resources as we do in this developed country. As Melinda Gates says in last week’s Time’s 100 Most Influential People, “Christy’s realization that her life and her baby’s turned on the luck of geography inspired her to take action.” She founded Every Mother Counts to take action against these preventable deaths by addressing the main barriers to maternal health.

“…let’s extend that sentiment not just to our moms throughout the year, but to other women.” ~Christy Turlington Burnstwitter

Another mother making progress for women’s rights: Cecile Richards, daughter of Ann Richards, mother of three, and President of Planned Parenthood.

5. Moms on Mothering

Michelle Obama, First Lady and self-titled Mom-in-Chief, is clear about her priorities. When making the transition into the White House, her main concern was to support her daughters. But this mama’s power is not just reserved for her own babies. Her Let’s Move campaign to end childhood obesity aims to empower families all across the nation. Watch her team up with comedian Will Ferrell in this hilarious video about the movement.

“I am an example of what is possible when girls from the very beginning of their lives are loved and nurtured by people around them. I was surrounded by extraordinary women in my life who taught me about quiet strength and dignity.” ~ Michelle Obamatwitter

We also love Dr. Shefali Tsabary‘s books on conscious parenting. Check her out on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday on OWN, May 18th.

6. Moms in Little Moments

Whether our actual moms, or the mother figures we find on our life’s path, it’s the moms we see day in and day out, through good times and bad, during both the special times and the mundane moments who are often the most powerful sources of inspiration. Listen to Your Mother is a series of live staged readings in celebration of Mother’s Day. In 32 cities across the nation, mothers, daughters, husbands, sons, grandparents and grandchildren gather to share their stories of motherhood. Check in all week for this year’s performances, or dive in to the archives. Don’t know where to start? Try Kris Adam’s take on the body of a mother here.

“By meeting them, by knowing my children, I have become something powerful and essential. I am no longer a question.” ~ Kris Adamstwitter

We are excited to start a conversation and learn more from you, dear emerging women. Let us know, with a comment below, what qualities of motherhood inspire YOU? Who are some of YOUR favorite moms?

Like what you’re hearing? Dive deeper with us this October at Emerging Women Live 2014.