It’s spring, and you know what that means: buh-bye snow and time to do some cleaning!
But it’s not the typical green smoothie cleanse I’m craving. I’m spring-cleaning the mess of feelings I’ve padded myself with this winter.
As I start to remove some of that excess emotional weight, I realize that a lot of it is attached to over-engaging emotionally with a few “close” relationships that maybe shouldn’t be so close.
Let’s just say it: I wanted to write an article about getting rid of relationships that no longer serve us because I have one in my life!
She and I were really close. But then I had a baby, and things got AWKWARD as she became more and more scarce during my postpartum can’t-stop-crying and haven’t-slept-in-months and who-am-I and what-the-hell-happened-to-my-body phase of mommyhood. And I got angry. Why wasn’t she there for me when I needed her most?
As much as I want to just clean house, cut her out of my life, and try to move on – what I really need to do is re-evaluate.
According to friendship-expert and CEO of GirlFriendCircles.com, Shasta Nelson, “Friendships are the training ground for becoming the people that we claim we want to be.”
Let that sink in – because that shifts this whole friendship conversation…
In her Emerging Women podcast interview, Shasta says we too quickly bail on the uncomfortable awkward moments in our relationships, thereby abandoning potential intimacy-building moments.
The highest levels of friendships we can have are ones where we can be truly vulnerable, even (and especially) during the awkward moments. On the opposite end of the continuum are our acquaintances and more casual relationships – where we get to awkwardly practice loving people who are very different from us.
I do tend to expect way too much (and too soon) from relationships. Not everyone has to be an immediate best friend, and relationships can shift their levels of importance over time. Seeing relationships in this light tempers things a lot and takes some serious emotional baggage off of me (and my friends).
This cleanse really helps that process. Join me for 15 minutes a day to work off the emotional weight that’s built up this winter:
Day 1: Evaluating your Values
What are my top 5 relationship values? In my closest relationships, am I exhibiting these? Where can I get better?
Day 2: Assessing your Friendships
List your friends and answer the following questions about each relationship: Is this a healthy relationship? Does it have the potential to hold most of the values that I see as important? What (if anything) is keeping us from growing closer?
Day 3: Appreciate, apologize and/or accept
Integrate your findings from Day 1 & 2. Apologize to those that you may have pushed away when it got awkward. Accept that some relationships are not going to grow stronger, and acknowledge the beautiful relationships that are currently growing.
Day 4: Go have a friend date with yourself!
I often expect so much from others before first figuring out how to be a friend to myself. Remember that playing and having fun are important features of any relationship. Go out and do something you enjoy: take yourself to a movie, go for a hike or start an art class. Chances are, if you’re having fun with yourself you are going to have more fun with others.
Day 5: Maintenance
How are you going to check in with yourself and your relationships? How will you handle jealousy or blame in your relationships? Can you find time to journal at least once a week and take yourself on a date once a month?
In three months this may change. Make sure to have the flexibility and grace with yourself and your friendships when changes arise.
As for me, I need to stop writing to you and start writing to an old friend. I’ve got some work to do and then a date to schedule with myself.
Emerging Women is hosting another fabulous Power Party on June 5th, this time in Seattle at Impact HUB. If you can’t make it in person you can still participate via Livestream by signing up below. Please note that all tickets must be purchased in advance.
Power Parties are authentic networking events that aim to bring together brilliant women ready to influence real change in the world through “the how” of what we do. Power Party Seattle is designed to be a comprehensive event that will explore the dimensions of living the truth of who we are through feminine power. You will experience real connection, intentional circles, speakers, book signings, live performance and groove. The line-up for this event is awesomely inspirational – featuring Jennifer Louden, Shasta Nelson, Jensine Larson, Sara Yao, Stacey Sargent, and Camille Bloom — all successful visionary leaders, entrepreneurs, and creatives who are trailblazing a new way of influencing positive change in the world. Expect authentic sharing of what makes these women tick and how they were able to achieve uncompromising success by living the truth of who they are.
Register for Emerging Women’s Power Party Seattle HERE
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Jennifer Louden is both a personal coach and social commentator, who has taken the concept of “comfort” and self-care, and made these essential concepts irresistible and essential to women around the world. Jennifer is a cultural visionary, harnessing her extraordinary ability to recognize women’s comfort as both a fundamental need and an innate desire. Jennifer is an established media favorite, known for her humor, honesty, and ability to deliver tangible tips and heart-expanding insight with grace and passion. As a best-selling author of The Woman’s Comfort Book and 5 other titles, she draws on a wealth of stories and experience to regularly enliven blogs, radio, TV & magazines like Woman First, Self, Woman’s Day, Health, Yoga Journal, Whole Living, Good Housekeeping, Shape, and Ladies Home Journal. Jennifer’s media appearances have included Oprah, MSNBC, CNN, and close to a hundred news shows in most major markets. She’s hosted her own radio show on Sirius, been a monthly columnist for Body+Soul (now Whole Living), enjoyed numerous satellite radio and TV media tours, and has been a major presence on the web since 2000. She is a leading spokeswoman for finding your center and creating a healthy life in the midst of the busiest life, and then extending that healthy living to your world through social change. She believes: Self love+world love = wholeness for all. Learn More>>>
Shasta Nelson, a female friendship expert, is the Founder and C.E.O. of GirlFriendCircles.com–the female friendship matching site in 35 cities across the U.S. and Canada where women of all ages go to make local friends, and is the author of Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends. She is regularly appearing in the media offering her expertise on such subjects as creating new friends, learning how to to forgive our friends, social media’s impact on our friendships, and the characteristics of healthy friendships. A few of the TV shows she’s been on include The Today Show, Katie Couric’s Show, The Early Show, and Fox Business. She’s relied upon by writers and reporters from such magazines as Cosmopolitan, Essence, Parents, More, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, and Glamour, and for such newspapers as The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, the San Francisco Chronicle. Her spirited and soulful voice can also be found at ShastasFriendshipBlog.com and in her Huffington Post column where she regularly contributes on relationship health. She also teaches, lectures, and hosts Friendship Accelerator events in her hometown of San Francisco and throughout the U.S. Learn More>>>
Jensine (Yen-See Nah) Larsen is an award-winning social media entrepreneur, international journalist, and speaker. At age 28 she founded World Pulse – a digital media network connecting women worldwide and bringing them a global voice – after working as a freelance journalist covering indigenous movements and ethnic cleansing in South America and Southeast Asia. Today World Pulse is powered by 60,000 women from 200 countries, many who are using internet cafes and cell phones from rural villages and conflict zones, collectively improving the lives of 2.2 million people. After successfully launching a print version of World Pulse magazine, in 2007 Larsen turned her eyes to the future of communications technology in the developing world. She pioneered an interactive global women’s newswire where women worldwide – including those using internet cafes and cell phones from rural villages and conflict zones– can speak for themselves to the world and solve global problems. Most recently, Larsen has launched a new program that is training women in digital empowerment and citizen journalism that is fostering a network of vocal women leaders from some of the most forgotten regions of the world. Today women from virtually every country in the world are connecting through World Pulse and producing a multiplier effect of change. Women previously unknown by the global public are having their stories picked up from World Pulse by the BBC, CNN, the UN, and the Huffington Post and beyond. Learn More>>>
Having coached and developed more than 3,500 leaders in six countries since 1998, Sara Harvey Yao specializes in the area of Executive Leadership and Ego. Sara’s clients refer to her as the “Ego Whisperer” and appreciate her precise ability to hone in on the root cause of leadership challenges and quickly resolve them.
Companies know any leader working with Sara will gain immense self-awareness, expand their influence and create a more consistent and compelling presence. In fact, Sara’s coaching skills are favored by countless executives from leading companies – among them Microsoft, T-Mobile and Outerwall (formerly Coinstar/Redbox).
Whether working one-on-one with clients, as a team facilitator or as an inspiring speaker, Sara is deeply committed to guiding clients to clarity about behaviors, ego tactics and communication styles that hamper conscious leadership. Learn More>>>
Stacey is an inspiring, energetic and authentic facilitator, coach, speaker and author – and the CEO of Connect Growth and Development. She is an advocate of bringing humanity back into the workplace. She has held positions over the last 20 years in evolutionary industries performing leadership, strategic and design vision roles in business, accounting and finance, consulting, client relations, software design and development. Stacey paired her degree in Business with a Masters in Applied Behavioral Science to create the “work love of her life”.
Her approach is about whole-person intelligence – partnering the logical with the creative, the rational with the emotional, our brain and our body. She helps people make the connection between their inner and outer selves so they can bring all their superpowers to any endeavor, in work and life.
Stacey is the author of Inner Critic, Inner Success: Claiming Your Own Success While Taming the Critic. She aspires to do more of the work she loves with more fantastic organizations, helping them discussWhat Really Matters. Learn More>>>
Seattle-based, Gibson endorsed musician Camille Bloom has performed at premiere venues in nine different countries including Canada, the US., Germany, Netherlands, England, Denmark, Belgium and Ireland. Combining percussive guitar and a voice that can “purr and wail” (Victory Review), “Camille’s music can make even the rain dance.” (Mike Galaxy – Indy Hits promotion). The powerhouse singer/songwriter has been said to sound ”like Ani Difranco dipped in maple syrup”. (Spokane Inlander).
In the last nine years, Camille has had songs licensed for use in twenty one shows on a variety of channels including MTV, E! and Oxygen. Additionally, she has completed over 30 national / international tours and has had her music played on over 400 major and college radio stations throughout the U.S. and Western Europe. She also charted on the European FAR (Freeform American Roots) Charts in 2009 with other music greats Bob Dylan, Steve Earle and Iron & Wine. She won the “Best Female Indie Artist” at the Ladylake Music Awards in 2010 – and was listed in the top 100 Indie Artists by Music Connection Magazine.
In addition to touring full time with club dates and festival appearances, Camille takes time out of her schedule to direct a Rock N Roll camp for kids in Seattle – and she also makes regular stops at youth centers – performing and talking to kids about using positive outlets such as music to cope with life’s struggles. Learn More>>>
Reserve Your Spot at Emerging Women Power Party SeattleHERE!
Check out an Emerging Women Power Party in action:
Chelsea has over 15 years of experience in administrative and executive support. After her years of working in the legal and oil and gas industry, Chelsea has made it her passion to fill her life with creativity and incorporates that into everything she does. Her position at Emerging Women allows her to expand on that creativity and assist with empowering women around the world. She is a native of Colorado and enjoys spending time with her husband, her son, bonus son, family, and friends. In her free time she loves camping, painting, and all things creative.
Online Business Manager
Michelle studied Marketing and received her degree from Metropolitan State University of Denver. Her passion for marketing, combined with great attention to detail, and over 7 years of experience in the tech-world makes her a valuable asset to the team! In addition to Emerging Women, she is also a solopreneur and works with a number of different clients in the online business realm. She is an experienced Online Business Manager and Virtual Assistant who specializes in marketing operations, project management and online course launch management. She is a Colorado native, mother of two dogs, a cat, and a turtle, and step-mother to an amazing little girl. In her spare time she enjoys live music, good food, traveling, and spending time with her friends and family.
Power Circle Administrator
Jen comes to Emerging Women with over 25 years of experience in event operations and volunteer management. She has worked various types of events as a Volunteer Manager for Integral Life conferences and as an Event Coordinator for various large arts and sports festivals throughout Colorado. Alongside her passion for creating and producing events, she worked as a hospital administrator for over a decade in one of Denver’s largest hospitals helping make care affordable to hundreds of patients. Jen was born in Lima, Peru but has spent most of her life in Colorado. In 2016, a year sabbatical morphed into a life living abroad. Jen has been living in Cusco, Peru for the past four years and cherishes her life in the Andes mountains. In her spare time she enjoys exploring the world, playing capoeira, and deepening her yoga and meditation practices.
Director of Power Circles
For over 13 years, Nicole has been a producer and connector in the field of personal and professional growth and transformation, creating diverse content, life-changing curriculum, and exquisite live and online experiences. She loves to unite and facilitate people in their work to live more good, true, and beautiful lives. She’s honored to bring this diverse expertise to Emerging Women. For the past two years she has been the lead producer for Emerging Women Live, and now is bringing her extensive production, coaching and facilitation skills to EW’s Power Circles. Nicole works in private practice as a Certified Integral Master Coach™, through her company, Unabashedly You, and has worked with hundreds of women (and men) individually and as a group facilitator. She also creates programs and interviews fascinating teachers and wellness experts in her role as U.S. Content Producer for Conscious Life. She is the co-founder of Core Integral, an educational company offering a comprehensive and accessible approach to learning integral theory. Prior to this work, she owned a large and lively restaurant and brewery in Pennsylvania. She has studied extensively and worked alongside Ken Wilber (Integral Theory), Daniel Brown, PhD (Tibetan Buddhism, Self-Development, Attachment, and Positive Psychology), and Sofia Diaz (Hatha Yoga and Feminine Embodiment). She holds a Masters Degree from Lehigh University. She regularly delights in the sunshine and mountains of Colorado with her two dogs and her partner Clint, and is a new mama to her daughter Truly Golden.
Founder & CEO
Chantal’s mission is to increase women’s leadership across the globe. After earning an MBA from the University of Colorado, Chantal left a career in medical device manufacturing in search of work that would align her dedication to transformative leadership with her passion for living an inspired, impactful life. In September 2012, she founded Emerging Women, a global leadership and media platform that serves over 70,000 women worldwide and has advanced women’s leadership within Fortune 500 companies such as HP, Oracle and more. Chantal’s ultimate vision is to weave feminine leadership and authenticity into businesses, and to create a world where women have a strong voice in the shaping of our future. Prior to Emerging Women, for over a decade, Chantal served on the executive team as the VP of Sales and Marketing for Sounds True, a multimedia publishing company focused on spirituality, personal growth, and holistic living. Chantal is a sought after speaker delivering keynotes at The Grace Hopper Celebration, Wisdom 2.0, and many other stages where women’s leadership is critical to the conversation. When she is not dancing or working to empower women around the world, Chantal enjoys family time with her husband and two sons in Boulder, CO.