Forgiveness and Feminine Power

Twelve years ago, sparked by a difficult transition to motherhood, I began studying the soul-quenching world of feminine power.

 

On this path I learned all about:

 

  • Sisterhood – I became part of a community of women that truly saw and celebrated each other.
  • Desires – and we lived in sacred alignment with our deepest desires.
  • Self-love – and in a societal sea of fear-based messaging, self-love was the boat we sailed.

Finding this path was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It lit up my relationships, intuition, creativity, and overall confidence. It was such a positive force in my life that I went on to create retreats and workshops working with these teachings.

 


“I received a message from the universe that simply said: Forgive.”


 

Back then, if you asked me about forgiveness, I probably would have suggested that forgiveness was a religious concept that instructed pardoning. Being a psychotherapist at the time and hearing challenging stories daily, I also may have added that forgiveness was a nice idea, but not for everyone. Some things were just too painful to forgive.

But then something intense happened to me: I was betrayed by someone I trusted. And I lost something I deeply loved.

Initially, I looked on the bright side. The relationship certainly had its problems, and there was a genuine part of me that was relieved it had come to an irreconcilable end.

I also had so much to be grateful for and even more to look forward to. I vowed not to let the loss bring me down.

However, as months passed, whenever I thought about what happened, I would feel an undeniable ball of resentment in my gut that made me think: “That. Was. So. Wrong.” My mind struggled to comprehend that it even happened.

So there I was on the path of feminine power that stood for:

 

  • Sisterhood – and a trusted female relationship had imploded.
  • Desire — and what I had desired was lost.
  • Self-love — and self-doubt rained down on me.

 

I was in the deep hole of betrayal’s aftermath, and I hung out there for three very long years. And then one dark evening in October 2012, I received a message from the universe that simply said: “Forgive.” 

I initially balked at this idea as I had no desire to let anyone off the hook. But the message was so clear that I reluctantly accepted the directive and began researching the world of forgiveness.

Three weeks later, my resentment was gone. I felt peaceful, and my faith in my myself and the universe was restored. I was wowed.

 


“Forgiveness is a spiritual experience that heals betrayal.

It is very powerful and sits at the core of feminine power.” 



 

Fast forward to today.

Over the past 12 years I have observed the rise of feminine power, and while “We can do it!” is the awesome and accurate collective cheer, becoming and achieving are never straight lines. Loss, setbacks, and failure are always part of our feminine path.

Whatever the story, it is imperative to the success and fruition of feminine power that we transform hardships into the highest force for good.

That’s where forgiveness comes in.

Betrayal is when someone or something you trusted fails you. It often results in a grudge, a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment.

Ask yourself: Am I carrying a feeling of ill will or resentment towards another or myself?

Or, does your body cringe or contract when you think of a difficult time in the past?

If you answered “yes” to either of these questions then ask yourself — are these feelings helping me to:

 

  • Attract and sustain the types of relationships I deeply crave?
  • Align with and attain my desires?
  • Trust my intuition?
  • Live creatively?
  • Be courageous?
  • Love myself?

 

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, then your feminine power is likely being held back by something in the past.

Forgiveness not only untangles you from the past, but in doing so, unblocks the vast potential of your feminine essence.

And this is why today, when someone asks me my thoughts on forgiveness, my eyes twinkle as I say, “Forgiveness is a spiritual experience that heals betrayal. It’s very powerful and is at the core of feminine power.”

 

The Most Radical Resolution for 2018

As the Season of Light is upon us and the new year approaches, I’m keenly aware that many people are entering into the ancient ritual of thinking about, writing, and preparing for their New Year’s Resolutions. Even before we get through the holiday season and open gifts, people are starting to gear up for this annual event.

The stressed and impatient are vowing to find balance next year. Smokers are anxiously getting ready to take their last puffs. And those who want to lose weight are letting themselves splurge through the holidays prepping for the barren land that awaits them January 1

These are all worthy goals. And goal setting is a great practice. But just for a minute, consider whether this is the kind of gift you want to be giving yourself?

What is it costing you to be focusing on what needs to be improved every year? What would be possible if you gave yourself the most radical resolution:

To focus on what is right with you and your life instead of what you need to change? What would this season FEEL like if you practiced validating what you’ve done well? Validation is a gift that grounds you in the strength of who you are and nourishes your wholeness.

What would the world be like if people were focused on their wholeness and not on their not enoughness? This Season of Light, I want to explore and challenge you to gift your self differently.

Instead of focusing on what needs to change…focus on what is good and wonderful about who you are and what your unique gifts are. Grab a piece of paper and answer these three questions:

  • What can you say to yourself in the coming days/weeks/year that would feed your inner light and wholeness?
  • What have you longed to hear each day as you struggle to keep that bright light within burning strong and steady?
  • What might get in the way of you validating yourself in the new year? This is a gift you can give to your self each and every day if you choose.

When we fill our cups with self­‐loving validation and celebration of our unique gifts, qualities, and strengths, we bring health, well­‐being, and passion to our body and peace to our mind. Our bodies are nourished and sustained from within. I invite you to enter into this radical gift giving experiment and try a new kind of resolution! See what happens when you focus on your wholeness and give self‐loving validation to yourself and to others in the coming days/weeks/year. Maybe we can revolutionize gift giving and resolutions to truly create a Season of Light that lasts all year long.

Want some encouraging words to help you believe in your wholeness? Try our Emerging Women podcast with Gabby Bernstein: The Universe Has Your Back.