Realign with your true desires so you can move into 2023 knowing exactly what you want:
Looking back, there have been so many times in my life when I haven’t been aligned with what I want.
When I’ve been riddled with comparison, FOMO, “I’m too late”, or “it’s already been done” syndromes. I’ve been in this space of unalignment in both the recovery and planning phases of my life, and I’ll tell you the truth: it didn’t do anything for me.
Because when you’re constantly stuck on what everyone else is doing (and on what you’re not doing), it’s hard to be in the right headspace to figure out where you’re supposed to be right now – let alone where you want to be in the future.
In the past, I’ve felt self-conscious about the fact that I haven’t really become fully expressed in the truth of who I am. I mean, I’m in the business of helping people become fully expressed – to Emerge.
Why hadn’t I done the same for myself?
What is my thing? What is my contribution (besides uplifting others)? What’s true for me?
And am I fully expressing that truth?
These past two years have been a process of “tending” – pruning away the dead branches to let more sunlight in; nourishing and tweaking my life in a way where my wellbeing is optimized; and getting the foundation laid so there is enough room for the new blossoms that are coming.
And this is a good thing because I can feel that 2023 is going to be a year of blossoming – and of Emergence.
This coming year will be the 10-year anniversary of Emerging Women, which is not something I take lightly.
Before we can fully step into our light, we need safe spaces to reconnect on the inside and prepare for the outward journey of self-expression.
So that’s what I’ve been doing. Tending, aligning, adjusting and realigning. And then sometimes I find myself getting caught in the comparison trap, or the self-doubt slippery slope, and I need to go back and do it all again.
Because realigning with your desires (understanding why you want what you want and how fulfilling your desires impacts your life) can be a messy process.
Last month we worked on self-compassion — or the ultimate act to allow yourself to want what you want without judgment. Not, “I don’t deserve that,” or, “I’m not allowed to ask for that.”
When we don’t allow ourselves to want what we want, we put a cap on what is possible.
So right now, I’m tending to myself. Making sure I’m working at a pace that feels rejuvenating and inspiring and creative.
Maybe I haven’t moved as fast as I wanted, but that’s okay. Because I have to make time for tending as much as I need to make time for doing. And I just know the places I am going in 2023 are going to need the juice!
When I take this time – this seemingly loooooong time – I have so much more awareness and presence, so I know whatever comes forward is going to have deep roots with branches that reach to the stars.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older and more mature, or because I’m more of a seasoned business owner, but I don’t feel that self-conscious anymore. I feel like it’s coming naturally and I just trust it. I trust the timing.
So when I was feeling all these feelings this year, I decided to do things a little differently.
I decided to… just go with it.
I gave myself permission to unfold in my own timing — and to not feel rushed. Just do what I need to do in this moment, this day, this year.
And right now, it means honoring my 2022. Yes, 2023 will be a year of Emergence for me. But this year isn’t over yet – and who knows when in 2023 my inward journey will turn outward. So I am enjoying the tending.
It’s like being wrapped in a cashmere blanket in front of a warm fire with loved ones filling the room with joy. Won’t you join me?
3 Ways to Honor Your Year
As 2022 comes to a close, there are three ways you can honor your year, too.
The first is to take stock of your year; what did you do this year? What are you proud of? What are your accomplishments? The second is to honor your growth; what hardships did you endure? What did you overcome? The third is to realign with your desires so you can move into 2023 knowing exactly what you want.
1. Take Stock of Your Year
Before we can move forward to 2023, we first need to take stock of this year.
Make a list of everything you did this year — minus the judgment. Make a list of your wins, accomplishments, setbacks, lessons, and “shortcomings”. Write it all down.
Don’t skip anything, even if you’re not 100% proud of something. Even if it seems small.
Write down the stuff that didn’t feel good, the hardships, and the suffering. Because all of that is a part of your accomplishments. Yes, even the F-word: failure. Failure in and of itself is an accomplishment, especially when you acknowledge it. Because being able to acknowledge your shortcomings is a major win.
Looking back at your list, if you had one word that sums up your year, what would it be? Mine would be tending. And I feel so good about that.
I am so proud that I did not fall prey to the FOMO demon that sometimes consumes me when I feel behind, too late, or too old. My pride for this year is allowing my Emergence to happen at its own pace – with the dignity of Grace it deserves.
2. Honor Your Growth
Look at your list for examples of growth.
Start back in January. Look at any challenges on your list. Did you overcome them? How so? If you didn’t, how did you learn from them?
In what ways did you grow? Where did this growth happen? In what areas and in what ways?
What new insights do you have about yourself? How did these insights help you evolve?
3. Realign With Your Desires
Did your actions and accomplishments this year align with your desires?
The first step to getting what you want is to know what you want and get clear on that.
Practice self-compassion to allow yourself to want what you actually want (don’t fall into, “I don’t deserve that,” or, “I’m not allowed to ask for that,” traps).
Use techniques, like journaling, vision journals, women’s circles, and positive self-talk to help you achieve your desires and create a lived experience of what it’s like to have what you want for yourself.
But most of all, give yourself permission to feel the desired state of your ultimate dreams coming true. Allow yourself to dream big, even if it risks disappointment of not fully achieving your goals.
If you can dream it, it is possible – it IS!